10 reasons we may secretly not want to manifest

Have you ever been in a situation where your conscious mind really, really wants something. Yet making it real never seems to happen? I know I have. With everything we want to create in our lives, there will be a unique combination of challenge and ease, based on a whole combination of inner and outer factors. 

However, there are some common themes shared by many of us as to why we may avoid bringing greater abundance into our lives. 

Here are a few common ones I have observed.. 

1. Manifesting eliminates other options. 

When we get clear on what we want, and we see it through, we necessarily say “no” to an infinite amount of other possibilities that could have taken its place. Other areas that could have received our life force and our love. Manifesting has a clarity and decisiveness to it. It says “I want *this* at the expense of any other option. It requires us to let other possibilities for our lives die. 

2. Manifestation often requires failure.

In most instances, before we manifest something that is in alignment for us, we will have to experience contrast. That is, meeting everything within and without that is in the way of what we desire. We will most likely have to go for something and not get it. We will most likely have to fail first in order to integrate the lessons we need to learn. Having the capacity to fail requires a strong sense of self love and worth. We need to be able to stay compassionate with ourselves when our inner critic may be running rampant. 

3. Manifesting can be slow and boring. 

If we are working on a big manifestation, it will likely require us to stay consistent with taking small steps over long period of time. It is possible that some things can arrive very quickly into our reality, but magick can also be like turning around a very big ship. It is also equally likely that a large amount of earthly, dull, unseen, mundane tasks will have to be carried out in order to build the necessary structure for the manifestation to land in. For us spiritually minded folks, this grounded pace can be a challenge!

4. We have to take care of what we manifest. 

Manifesting creative projects, relationships, careers, homes etc is a beautiful thing. But once they have arrived, they may take a considerable amount of time and energy to maintain. We may subconsciously resist something coming to us if we fear we won’t have the ability to maintain it. We may already be exhausted and in need of rest. This is where cultivating our body’s capacity before manifesting can really support us. 

5. Hitting our havingness level. 

Our havingness level is the amount of abundance we will allow ourselves in a particular area before we shut ourselves down to receiving more. Our havingness level is often inherited from our ancestors, as well as influenced by the people around us. Carolyn Lovewell says that we pay for every blessing we receive with time, money, shame or gratitude. Often our core unworthiness (which we all have) is activated when we receive a wonderful gift from life. It is important to be able to titrate slowly into this expansion; easing ourselves and our nervous system into being able to hold more without it creating a contraction into shame. 

6. Fear of projection/rejection from other people. 

As humans, belonging has been vital to our survival. It is understandable that we may place maintaining the status quo of our relationships above our own individuation or success. There can be a certain amount of fear in mirroring our expansion to those around us, and the triggers that might bring up for them. It takes a certain degree of bravery to ask for and receive more in our lives and risk social rejection. 

7. Desire contains disillusionment. 

The polarity of desire is disillusionment. We cannot have our desires fulfilled without some degree of disillusionment being activated. A feeling of “this isn’t quite what I wanted/hoped/expected it to feel like.” Accepting that achieving our dreams may not provide all of the solutions for some of life’s deeper existential worries is an important part of making peace with creating what we desire. We can drastically improve our life experience and sense of fulfillment. But we may also need to face some degree of grief around it not changing the reality of our human condition. 

8. Manifesting can activate our vulnerability. 

There is something incredibly vulnerable about longing for something. It takes courage and a willingness to open our hearts and to have our hearts broken. It is much safer to keep our desires locked away from ourselves and others. It takes bravery to say, “this is what I want”, to keep moving towards it, and to face the possibility that that desire my not be met. 

9. A fear that what we want is ‘bad’ or will cause others harm. 

Many religions and spiritual traditions have done a great job at convincing us that our desires are sinful. Why? Because our desires contain within them so much power. They hold the key to our Telos; our life’s purpose.

Of course, it is possible that some desires are taboo, harmful to others if acted out, or maybe even pathological. In this instance, I believe it is important that we tease out the transpersonal desire that is trying to emerge within it, and get that met in healthy ways. Perhaps the root of the desire is greater safety, power, love, freedom, recognition or peace; almost certainly there are non-harmful ways that these can be met. 

On the whole, most people have had their sense of worthiness to receive greatly shut down, and in most instances, receiving more in certain areas would facilitate a greater capacity for love and service in the world. 

10. Not wanting to be greedy. 

We may see the vast inequalities in the world and not want to contribute to exacerbating that. This is completely understandable. However, from what I have experienced and witnessed, we have to allow our most material and base desires to be revealed and met in order for them to evolve into higher service and contribution. Desire does not evolve through bypassing. It evolves through getting what we want. The process of maturing our desires into something that opens out into our deepest service requires that we go through the process of being authentic in what we want in the first place. This may feel counterintuitive, but it is an important part of individuating and knowing ourselves and our gifts. 

Aside from this list, there may be a whole host of different conscious and unconscious fears and blocks specific to us and the particular manifestation we are moving towards. 

As a coach, I can support you unpack all of these and take consistent action steps towards making your dreams a reality.